That Special Gleam

Posted on Nov. 15, 1988

From the University Report (published by the GAA 1970-94)

Some months ago Undergraduate Admissions Director Richard Cashwell ’59 shared with me the sad but true story of a letter he had received from the daughter of a Carolina alumnus. A good student, this young woman applied for admission to Carolina hoping to follow her older sister to Chapel Hill.

Regrettably, like so many well-qualified applicants, because of stiff competition and limited space in the freshman class, she was notified that she was not being admitted. She wrote a moving letter to Mr. Cashwell, expressing her disappointment, closing with these words: “Never will I see that special gleam in my father’s eyes that my older sister received when she was admitted to Carolina.”

As your alumni director and as the father of two young sons, both of whom already talk often of going to Carolina, there is much that is unsettling about that young woman’s letter. Somewhere along the way, she concluded that studying hard and being a good student was insufficient if she was not successful in following her sister and attending her father’s alma mater. How unfortunate.

No parent would knowingly set their youngsters up to fail. Yet, I fear that too often, that is just what we are doing. We remember Carolina when admissions were not as competitive, when the size of the freshman class was slightly increasing each year and when the number of applications was not growing as dramatically as it is today.

Please don’t misunderstand. Like most alumni, I hope that if both my sons want to attend Carolina, they’ll have that opportunity. My wife, Debbie, and I believe it is important that they get a good, strong start educationally and develop leadership skills and good study habits. But we also want Michael and Brian to feel confident yet realistic about their talents, to like themselves, to develop strong values, to make wise decisions, to discover the joy of learning, and to enjoy life. We fully recognize that Carolina is not for everyone, nor can Carolina admit all who apply. Once youngsters reach high school, they should understand what is most important is not whether they attend a particular college or university, but that they continue their education.

Fortunately, the young woman referred to earlier was a strong student and was admitted to another school academically competitive with Carolina. I suspect along the way she taught her father a lesson about parenting and earned her own “special gleam.”

Yours at Carolina,

 

 

 

 

Douglas S. Dibbert ’70